5 things - my version for his high school teachers

My eldest son is starting High School next year. We are anxious about this and have been working to prepare for it. The disability coordinator asked me about the 5 things that his teacher's need to know.

I am a unique, but I did not choose to be different.

1. You may recognise things about me that you are familiar with, such as not seeming to understand what you are saying, that I get frustrated with reading, or that I need extra time to complete things. You will find that some things you might try will work, others don't or they may only work some of the time and then not at all. Treat me with respect and get to know me so that I can rely on you.

2. In the classroom, you should have a plan and be prepared but also know when to be flexible and back off so that I don't become overwhelmed. I have many strengths and am a strong visual, spatial learner and also enjoy music and movement which is good for me. I also like ball games and need to be able to take frequent breaks especially if I have difficulty concentrating. Take time to learn how to engage with me. School will be much more enjoyable and beneficial for me if you take advantage of my strengths.

3. I want to have friends and like being around people but I don't always know what to do or understand what's expected of me. I can have trouble expressing myself and am sensitive to touch so some playground contact can bother me. Sometimes others don't accept me as I am. You will need to look out for me on the playground and help me when I need it. This may mean talking to me about good strategies and how to use them as well as things to avoid. I may need a safe place to go or to seek out someone I trust when I am having trouble.

4. You might think that I am not trying, but I am. Many things are harder for me. Try breaking tasks down and setting small, achievable goals. Also try to understand that things go wrong and I am not to blame for that. I don't always make good decisions but I have a good heart. I am kind, caring, loyal and very forgiving. Listen to me and please try to remember that your will is not mine. I like to make my own choices. There is always a reason for why I do things and you should try to understand that.

5. Even though I don't always ask for help, I really need your help to do things: to plan, to organise and find solutions when I am having trouble. Sometimes I just want to be left alone. I can achieve many things but I need your help to do this. I want to have the same opportunities as the other children in your class and I am proud of what I have already accomplished. I want to enjoy my time at school, learn things and make new friends. With patience and your guidance I will be able to achieve my full potential. I can't do it on my own.

Remember that my Mum and Dad have known me for a long time and are very important people in my life who want the best for me. It would be a good idea to listen to what they have to say and let them know what's happening.

You can make a difference too. It won't always be easy, but don't give up on me. I am worth it.

Of course, I am indebted to the author of 10 things every child with autism wishes you knew and the very many people who, over the years, have helped me to develop some insight into my eldest son. Without their help I may never have been able to understand him and what we must do for him.

10 things every child with Autism wishes you knew

I have only just stumbled upon 10 things every child with Autism wishes you knew. Perhaps I'd brushed past it in my search for information without paying enough attention. Anyone who has followed my blogs over the past year will realise that our family have been learning these lessons.

Here are some of the highlights for me ...

I did not choose to have autism. But remember that it is happening to me, not you. Without your support, my chances of successful, self-reliant adulthood are slim. With your support and guidance, the possibilities are broader than you might think. I promise you – I am worth it.

Look past what you may see as limitations and see the gifts autism has given me. It may be true that I’m not good at eye contact or conversation, but have you noticed that I don’t lie, cheat at games, tattle on my classmates or pass judgment on other people?

All that I might become won’t happen without you as my foundation. Be my advocate, be my friend, and we’ll see just how far I can go.

We are all different of course. My eldest son has his own path to tread. I hope that he continues to be patient with us as we learn and relearn these important lessons - so very much like he does.

Please read the full story on Sensory Interventions. The book Ten Things every child with Autism wishes you knew is by Ellen Notbohm.

Parenting my eldest son

Parenting my eldest son is now a public access blog again. I was concerned about our privacy when I made this private because our son was being bullied by kids in the neighbourhood. For the past year we have tried to establish the support that he needs at school and in the community without much success. So after a difficult year in 2010 we are moving back home again at the end of this month and are hoping that things will improve.

Merry Christmas 2010

Merry Christmas everyone.

We had a very good day today. Most of our children slept in until at least 6am before opening their presents. Some good friends came for lunch. We played cricket. We went for a walk and spent a couple of hours at the beach. He had some quiet time playing cars in his bedroom.

Our eldest son likes his new iPod Touch. When he went to bed he was trying the pattern matching game that I'd downloaded for this. If you'd like a list of iPod/iPad apps to get started with for children with special needs you could try the list at Independent Kids Occupational Therapy. I found some free versions of many of these.

We are looking forward to moving home next month. Everything seems to be working out for us again.

Have a wonderful Christmas.

Father of four, my wife and family.

IKOT: Sensory Diets

IKOT: Sensory Diets: "One of the big things that OT's talk about is a good sensory diet. Sometimes it is really hard to implement these at home and it can feel ov..."

Mother laboured to find the reasons for her son's developmental delays

You can read the full text in this Washington post article. Everyone has their own path to tread.

The learning needs of boys with KS - information for teachers and parents

There is some helpful stuff in this information for teachers and parents from Klinefelters Syndrome Association (UK) such as:

Work with ALL the pupils in the class at developing a culture of acceptance and inclusion. It is very easy for these boys to be bullied and teased resulting in terrible and seemingly irreversible consequences, yet a supportive peer group can grow a boy with a radiant personality and sense of self-worth. Encourage a communicating environment where pupils can share ideas and experiences safely, where all viewpoints are equally valued and those who struggle to communicate are supported and not excluded.

... thanks Bob